Today I observed someone's approach to a problem and noticed their first instinct was to find someone to blame. From an outside perspective it seemed obvious that the most important thing that was needed was a solution and that nobody really cared who was responsible for the problem. To make matters worse, the person actually created more of a hassle for everyone involved by acting defensive. It made me wonder, why did they think it was so important to assign blame and why were they so blind to the very obvious and very simple solutions to the problem? Some people seem to just instinctively jump into problem solving mode. Are there times when that is not the best route? Are there times when even those people are emotionally involved that they miss the opportunity and go for the easy blame? Are there ways we can practice this skill so in times of stress we instinctively problem solve?
We've all read lots of books and articles on giving feedback, but what is the best way to receive feedback? My default response used to be to explain my position, show how I do what the person is asking, or show how I wanted to but someone else prevented me. If I am caught off guard or stressed, these are still my gut instincts. However, I have learned two much more constructive ways to respond to feedback that I strive to use more often. The first started as I became more self-aware and felt comfortable and safe acknowledging and working on my weaknesses. If someone points something I am aware of and I feel safe (i.e., it is pointed out in a private forum versus a public forum) the best thing I can do is say "I know, do you have any suggestions or advice that will help me?" If someone has the courage to step out of their comfort zone to point out a way I can improve, it is a safe bet they've thought about it beforehand. The second way to handle...
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