Strategic Serendipity

When life kicks in and you start wondering where the day, week, month, or year went, it is time to slow down. (C) DeAnn Malone 2019 In our fast-paced society, this can be a real challenge.  Last year, I bought a camera and started taking photography classes.  I hadn’t ever used anything but a point and click camera or a cell phone.  I was intimidated at first by all the setting and rules for when they use them.  Over the course of 11 classes in 13 months I have fallen in love with photography.  And not just because of the priceless memories I have in photos of nature and my son.  What I found was a way to slow down. You have likely read all the studies on the benefits of meditation.  I tried it, I really did.  I WANT to master it.  But I really struggled.  Yoga has eluded me, too, so far.  I refuse to give up.  But in the meantime, I can go to the local gardens and spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to get a pictu...

How much alone time do you need? There seems to have been a cycle to my life where I go from a lot of alone time, to next to none, then back again.  When I was six, I was a latch key kid of a single mom who worked three jobs.  When we were together, she was tired in a way I could not understand.  I loved my time alone listening to Disney fairytale books on my record player and following along in the book.  I would turn the page when Tinkerbell made her sound.  I swear it is how I learned to read and to love reading.  But I would also get so lonely. Fast-forward to college and there were always so many people around. You weren’t ever really alone for long.  Summers were as much decompression as recharging my brain. Then I lived alone as a single person in DC. I had friends and volunteered a lot outside of work. But long weekends often consisted of a good audiobook while I worked on a quilting project. There were times that I was lonely and felt...

When you are childless and go through a break up it is hard.  I remember chocolate ice cream, Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs, and whole weekends spent on my couch.  And then slowly you get back into things, maybe go out for a night on the town with friends or speed dating (preferably combined with a wine tasting).  The entire process is about you and, well, processing what you have gone through. When you go through that break up with a child, however, it is different (still hard).  The process now becomes about making sure your little (or not so little) one is comfortable with the new normal and you are forever tied with "the one that got away" through your child (or children).  What's more, you now are doing most of it on your own (possibly without financial support) and quite frankly, that is draining in a way I can't even begin to explain. No matter what the circumstances of the parting of ways, no matter how amicable or how much of a relief it is, your mi...

Have you ever had one of those nights where you wake up in the middle of the night and worry about something completely unrealistic and out of your control?  I did.  Last night.  And this morning was rough.  And toddlers sense that type of thing so my son had a rough morning as well.  And I was scheduled to teach my fourth new content class in six days this afternoon.  Think you know where this is going?  I sure did this morning, and boy was I wrong.  Indulge me for just a minute. Later than I would even care to admit, I finally dropped my son off at day care.  As usual, his classmates (all but one little boys and all energetic beyond belief) made me laugh and quickly remember that Jackson is the important one in my family.  (They like to welcome Jackson, start playing with him, and then look at me and tell me bye, bye.  I am thankful that he loves it there so much and luckily do not have an easily bruised ego.)  As I was wal...

There is a song on my playlist that can instantly slow me down and center me, wherever I am.  Ironically, it is the acoustic version of "Wherever You Are" by Jack Ingram.  I like the acoustic version because it reminds me of a USO Visit I participated in where he and his band sang to a soldier with cancer and her husband who were in DC without their four children fighting against everything to get through their challenge. This song means something completely different to me than it means to most.  It reminds me of how lucky I really am.  How generous some people are with their time and talent.  How strong some people are (the soldier).  What true love (the husband's) really looks like.  What a few minutes of your time can do for other people.  How challenges can be met head on.  And to never, ever, ever give up. Today I needed that centering.  It was a great day.  I taught two new classes and I was really pleased with the way th...

When someone engages with you in a virtual "conversation" via text, message, or e-mail how do you balance being responsive while staying on task. I have heard people who have a rule that if three or more messages go back and forth it is time to pick up the phone. This is a good rule for high priority discussions (which includes family members, friends, etc.) if you are in a situation where you can pick up a phone and speak with the person. There are those times when that just isn't an option. Here are four easy steps for handling those "conversations" when you can't pick up the phone or when you have to stay focused on your current task.  1.  Prioritize Is this something that requires your attention right now?  If yes, either pick up the phone or stop and shift your focus to responding. Many times that back and forth virtual exchange is caused because one party (sometimes more) is multi-tasking and not fully reading the exchange. If you stop and fo...