Strategic Serendipity

I did a basic team building presentation for a volunteer organization last week and was absolutely shocked by the answers to one of my questions.  Now I will admit, I learn something from every presentation I do and pretty much every person I talk to.  But this incident stood out in my mind and really made me think. As part of the presentation, I have a slide with two columns and twelve rows titled "Which Do You Prefer?".  It is a basic checklist that I recommend using during the start up of a team to find out more about the people with whom you will be working and how their styles may differ from your own.  In addition to asking if you prefer "Agenda" or "No Agenda" I ask "why."  For instance, one person reflected that if the meeting is about something they know well, they do not require an agenda ahead of time.  If it is a new topic they may want the agenda up to a week ahead of time.  There is even a silly question as to whether you prefer

In a fight between the Congress and the Administration, score goes to...the WWII veterans.  Depending on which side of the aisle you prefer (or whether you are inside or outside the beltway), you may have different views over what the government shutdown is about and/or means to you.  Regardless of what your personal beliefs are, I hope you will take a moment to follow what I consider THE story of the day  (picture and link are from www.newschannel9.com ).     I have several friends who volunteer escorting the Honor Flights of WWII veterans to visit the memorial created to honor their service to our country and first learned about the potential issue through their facebook posts this morning.  (The Honor Flight website is currently down, hopefully crashed by people donating money in light of today's news stories, but it is www.honorflight.org .)  This organization flies veterans to see "their" memorial at no cost to the veteran.  The ages of the WWII veterans ma

When you are childless and go through a break up it is hard.  I remember chocolate ice cream, Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs, and whole weekends spent on my couch.  And then slowly you get back into things, maybe go out for a night on the town with friends or speed dating (preferably combined with a wine tasting).  The entire process is about you and, well, processing what you have gone through. When you go through that break up with a child, however, it is different (still hard).  The process now becomes about making sure your little (or not so little) one is comfortable with the new normal and you are forever tied with "the one that got away" through your child (or children).  What's more, you now are doing most of it on your own (possibly without financial support) and quite frankly, that is draining in a way I can't even begin to explain. No matter what the circumstances of the parting of ways, no matter how amicable or how much of a relief it is, your mind sti

This time of year always makes me nostalgic.  While I get to go to class throughout the year and each time is like a mini flashback , there is nothing quite like the build up to the start of a new school year.  A friend of mine published a blog post on those "school" supplies that moms love the most , and I must say, her list (and the instant "Oh yeah I need those!" reaction we all have reading it) make me think that I am not the only one in the start-of-school-envy boat. We all know that kids pick up on what we do even (especially?) when it doesn't match what we say.  So, what are you modeling for your children about lifelong learning? I have a friend whose morning post today was that her daughter asked to start off her first day of school by attending a 6:30 AM sales meeting (celebrating a record sales month) with her mom.  It is easy to see that her second grader sees learning as an integral piece of the pie; that she sees execution as a by-product of tha

Last week my NCIS Season 10 DVDs came in the mail.  Each episode is a treat in and of itself after I got rid of cable last year and became a Netflix-only household.  (As a single mother with a toddler, I was averaging about 30 minutes of quality TV time to myself a day so it seemed a real waste of money.)  Overall I have been pleased, but there are a few shows, like NCIS and Big Bang Theory, that I honestly miss.   Anyway, one of the episodes really struck me the more I thought about it.  The title was Hit and Run and in it, Abby's character flashes back to a childhood "investigation" while working a current hit and run investigation and comes to the conclusion that all her work is for nothing as she doesn't change anything and bad things still happen.  Of course, Gibbs' character shows her what a difference she truly makes by just being herself and the episode closes with her smiling.  His speech is about her "hit and runs" where she does something n

How many times a day do you say "thank you?"  How many times a day do you hear "thank you?"  As I started teaching my toddler son to say "please" and "thank you" I realized that I began saying it more even when he was not around.  Then it occurred to me that I hadn't been saying it enough.  So I started saying it even more around others. And then I had an experience where a simple thank you changed a person's attitude (for the good).  And I realized the power of a simple thank you in a work environment (as a federal employee) where morale seems to be at an all-time low (at least in the fifteen years I've been around) and people seem quick to snap at one another and "say" things (either in person or via e-mail) that you never would have heard in the workplace twenty years ago.  (And no, this is not a generational issue as it is all generations I am hearing it from.) After last Friday, just another day of serving as everyo

You have read about this week's eye gash and trip to the doctor so you can picture a bit of the little (adorable) Tasmanian Devil I live with. But his reaction to this week has reminded me of a very important principle we all forget on a daily basis.  People are different and they react to things differently.  I'm not talking about the differences between raising "snips and snails" boys and "sugar and spice" girls.  This is far more basic and relates to the lens of our preferences and life experiences through which we view everything that happens to us and those around us.  Take, for example, a head bump so bad that the gash needed liquid stitches. If this had happened to me I would have, pardon my frankness, milked it for all it was worth. Not in a lazy way or a "poor me" way, but in a "I really need to just take it easy" way. How does my little boy react?  I have no idea. There hasn't been a single slow down, whimper, or change in b

Today started out as any other, I had two days at work this week and that was plenty of time to get my "must do before I leave" list cleared. I was sitting at my desk tackling the thing I like the least first when my phone rang. That call that no parent, single or otherwise, wants to get. My son had gotten a cut above his eye and they wanted me to take him to the doctor. A little discombobulated I managed to call his doctor's office and make an appointment while emailing my boss and setting my out of office reply. That done I caught a cab and had my little boy in my arms in record time. He was having a snack and threw the ice pack away by himself so he was obviously handling it very well. I agreed that a trip to the doctor's and not the ER. was in order and so we headed on the train and bus 75 minute trip.  The joys of living in a city without a car. The worst part was cleaning and putting Derma Bond on the cut at the doctor'a but luckily he didn't need stitch

There is a great song called "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins about how children watch and mimic us at our best and at our worst. It was a sweet and funny song until the first time my sweet little toddler said "s$@t" when he couldn't get his duplos to snap together. I had to suppress a small bit of pride that he had used it in the right context and make a split decision about what to do. Since he was 16 months at the time I ignored it and immediately took the word out of my vocabulary. (Since I get excited about every new word, this worked...this time.). What I learned is that he is taking in every single thing I do and say. I started practicing saying please and thank you and encouraging his use of them and he is often the first to say it now when someone holds the door for me while pushing the stroller.  It made me think about developing others. You can tell people to do things until you are blue in the face but if you are not modeling the practice you

How committed to that leadership development program you signed up for (or were nominated for) are you? Better yet, what does committed mean to you? I will try to attend the whole class except for that phone call I need to take and checking e-mails during the program. I will put my out of office on for the time of the program and attend the whole session.   I will do all the pre-work assigned. I will make notes and incorporate something from the program afterwards. I will work for at least six months to integrate the concepts, reflect on application "experiments," and revise my process. In a world where training professionals are constantly being able to state the return on investment for leadership training, the dirty little secret is that there is often very little return because the participants are not committed to the program.  Honestly, if you are not spending 7-10 hours working with the new concepts outside of the classroom for every hour you are inside th

Picture this, a beautiful August morning, a sweet toddler cuddles with his single mother, he plays and eats while she gets ready, they negotiate getting dressed, walk out the door...and boom, instant meltdown. Do you want to walk? No! Do you want to ride in the stroller?  No!  Do you want to ride the bus?  Bus!  And cue meltdown because he can't run around on the bus. Exit the bus with a squirming screaming child in one hand and a folded stroller in the other. Child reaches for sippy cup, sits in stroller and quiets down. Whew!  Walk in, put away the stroller and...outside!  No we have to go to class, want to see the guinea pigs first? No!  Cue collapse on the floor for dramatic effect. Thank goodness we are in a daycare where parents and adults look at you with empathy instead of disdain. Pick him up, take him to class, set him down with his cup and snack and cue dramatic collapse. Slowly share snacks with all the kids in the room because they all know I will. Once all the kids ar

I feel like I spent the first twenty years of my life listening to my mom telling me to clean up my room and a good portion of the next twenty listening to roommates, officemates, etc. talk about the condition of my home and office.  Since I had my son, I have one room he is allowed to do anything he wants to. At 21 months he is finally figuring out our "put things away" game and I don't have to spend his naps and after he goes to bed cleaning up.  But over the last few months, I've increasingly yearned for a clean desk at work and a clean office, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom at home.  Maybe it is the uncertainty, craziness, and change in my life combined with the increasing number of ideas and goals running through my head, but I just want a place for everything and everything in its place. It doesn't exactly stress me out that it isn't there yet, and I move forward a little every week so I am not overwhelmed with the project.  But it has got me thinking.

Is there anything better for a mental recharge than physical activity?  I hit the jackpot today.  The Friendship Firehouse in Alexandria, Virginia was having an open house.  That means a whole street blocked off and lined with big, red fire trucks and pint-size firefighters.  I don't have a car and it is five miles away so I took a cab there and started the morning with my little pint-size guy.  We explored the reflective surfaces of the hubcaps, the hidey-holes that store supplies, the thick fire hoses that put out fires, and someone even checked out the underside of an ambulance!  After an exciting morning with friends from his class, we were ready to head home.  And that is where my fun began.  A five-mile meandering walk with a quick stop for lunch about half-way while the little guy was napping.  It was a beautiful day.  And as I walked the stress from the week started to melt away.  Not all of it yet, I am guessing that will be a walk tomorrow.  But quite a lot.  We both got

In a world where every business number you dial gets you and endless string of prompts and the people who are the public face of a company so often fail to pride themselves in service there are still a few places that "get" customer service.  One I have recently found is Arlington Red Top Cab in Virginia. First of all, a living human being answers the phone when you call. If you want to be picked up they key in your phone number and ask if you want to be picked up at your home address. Not a problem if you don't, but a nice bonus not needing to repeat your address every time you call. Then, they send you a text when a cab has been assigned, is a mile away, and is  at your location. Each text has the number of the cab so if more than one person is waiting you know easily which one is yours.  This may sound like a relatively simple process, but the fact of the matter is that it is often the simplest things that get overlooked. What makes them great, is they are there when y

I am not quite sure how it is already August. July seems to have come and gone in the blink of an eye. I will admit that Fall is my favorite season, but this year I am hoping that August will slow down just a little to allow me to catch my breath.  I have a weekend of cleaning, planning, and playing with my son planned to get things back on track. I used a much needed day off yesterday to revisit my main priorities (my "big rocks") and I am trying to keep them front and center as I do my weekly and daily planning.  How often do you check your priorities? If you haven't revisited them since you took that leadership class now would be a great time. Think about the next six months, what do you want to accomplish in the different facets of your life (work, volunteer, school, family, health, hobby, etc.)?  Put the list near your computer or day planner and schedule your life around what will move the big things forward and what will fulfill you most. The rest can go in your sp

Goals should be things that are a stretch.  They should be things that aren't easy to achieve.  If you are truly setting goals (and not benchmarks) you will sometimes fail to hit the mark.  Take, for example, the 31-Day Blog Challenge I participated in this month.  Add in the most teaching and program days at work I have had in a while, designing a new program that has to be presented to and approved by my equivalent of the C-Suite, getting a cold from constantly going back and forth between 107 degree F heat index and 70 degree F air conditioning, and top it off with my first trip to the ER with my 21 month old son because of a fall (official diagnosis and treatment: a small bruise and a popsicle).  Needless to say, I have failed my 31-Day Blog Challenge.  And I failed it in front of all of you. So, we are making this a teaching moment on goal setting and resilience.  I will continue blogging through the end of the month AND I will redo the challenge on my own in August.  It is

I figured out why I am so excited about the Royal Baby Boy. There is an old Anne Murray Song - A Little Good News that says it perfectly and is my song for the day.  I rolled out this morning Kids had the mornin' news show on Bryant Gumbel was talkin' 'bout the fighting in Lebanon Some senator was squawkin' 'bout the bad economy It's gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy There's a local paper rolled up in a rubber band One more sad story's one more than I can stand Just once how I'd like to see the headline say "Not much to print today, can't find nothin' bad to say", because Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain We sure could use a little good news today I'll come home this evenin' I'll bet that the news will be the same Somebody takes a hostage, somebody steals a plane How

There will never be a perfect time, sometimes you just have to make a move.  For what?  Honestly, it doesn't matter. We are constantly saying I will do that when I have more money, I will apply for that job when I have more experience, I will volunteer when I have more time, etc.  There will never be a perfect time.  If you spend your life waiting for "when" you will miss some amazing opportunities.  Does that mean you should take a fantasy vacation on your credit cards or apply for an executive chef position if you have never even been able to make toast?  Of course not.  It means you need to break your big goal down into small goals and make one move today that will get you closer.  Start  putting $25 a paycheck in a savings account for that vacation. Pick a new recipe to try for dinner. Read a book, a magazine, or a blog in an area that interests you. Research volunteer opportunities you can do with your child or in the time you have after your child goes to sleep. Wal

I learned something the other day watching my 20 month old son learning how to climb a small rock climbing wall.  There is a reason it is good to start at the bottom - you have less room to fall and it is so much easier to get back up when you do. The same can be said about the business world.  I hear people talking about younger generations in the workforce "wanting to run the organization their first week."  Suffice it to say, they simply feel like their skills are not being fully utilized, but that is for another article. This article is for people of any age starting a new career.  Appreciate the fact that you get to learn from the ground up.  Just like a child playing on a rock climbing wall, you are going to slip every now and then.  In the business world, it is called "failing forward" and it is a legitimate form of adult learning.  In fact, on-the-job experience is actually the most effective way for adults to learn. Experiment with new ways of doing

There are many books, courses, blogs, and podcasts out there that can help you become a better leader. So why aren't we a world of master leaders?  Simply, because the business of leadership development is not easy.   When I took a developmental rotation from my position as an attorney to my position in as a leadership development professional I had many people tell me that I had sabotaged my career.  To this day, I am constantly asked if I am having fun or when I am going to go back to my "real" job.  In other words someone with a law degree is only at their highest and best use if they are doing legal analysis.   I would like to point out two things... First, the work I do on a daily basis as a leadership development professional is harder than any legal analysis I have ever done.  Legal analysis goes something like this.  You have a rule, you have a set of facts, you apply the rule to the set of facts and determine whether the facts are within the rule or

From Dan Rockwell @Leadershipfreak (well actually from his wife via his blog)..." People who already know can't be taught ."  The whole blog piece is hilarious but I wanted to focus a bit on the serious side of the message. Let's start with the big question I hear so often.  "Are leaders made or taught?"  My opinion is that some people have an innate understanding of leadership concepts in the way that some people have an innate understand of how to throw a baseball or play a guitar.  It is easier for them to learn and master but they still have to practice if they want to make it to the big time.  For the rest of the world, there are thousands of models, books, courses, blogs, podcasts, etc. (if not millions by now) to help them learn what the others seem to innately know.  But it is like going to a piano lesson, if you don't go home after the lesson and practice, you might as well not go at all. In other words, true leaders master their craft throu

When I signed up for the 31 Day Blogging Challenge  my main objective was to train myself to write every day.  I found so much more.  The challenge leader has provided daily support, encouragement, and tips that I look forward to reading every morning.  The challenge also includes reading and commenting on other participant's blogs.  I have found some wonderful bloggers and am thoroughly enjoying sharing this process with them. I think sometimes when we take on a challenge we may anticipate some of what we will gain, but often, we learn so much more than we ever expected.  If we can keep that in mind as we begin challenges maybe it will push us a little harder? Twelve days into the challenge, I have already topped my previous high monthly views.  For those bloggers who have posts with views in the millions, the activity on my blog may not be earth shattering.    For me, it is truly inspiring. If you have a blog or want to start one, I recommend signing up for the next challen

How can one small word strike fear in the hearts of many.  I applied for a independent contractor position teaching yesterday and received an e-mailed rejection today.  At first that little gremlin that lives in my head said "See, I told you so!" But seriously, it is just an e-mail.  From someone who probably knows nothing about me because 10,000 other people probably applied for the same one job.  (Shhh, that is the story I am telling myself tonight.) Mia Hamm said "Failure happens all the time.  It happens every day in practice.  What makes you better is how you react to it." So once I got through the disappointment and the rationalization, I realized how quickly they both passed.  Why, because then I got to the point where I realized I had put myself out there for something I was interested in and now had a contact.  So I wrote another e-mail (one I hope will be answered) about what skills I could enhance to be competitive for future openings.  Who better t

Country music fans will recognize the title of this post as a line from Sugarland's "Something More."  (If you don't recognize it, it is definitely worth a download.)  What I love about the song is that it is about finding and following your passion.  Living up to everything there is in store for you.  But not in a "fate" type of way, but in a proactive - create your own happiness type of way.   Another song I love for this is "Firework" by Katy Perry.  It challenges you to open the door to the perfect road.   These are just two of the songs I regularly listen to in the morning to get ready for the day.  Consider it a pre-game ritual.   Does music boost your spirit and energy level?  What songs do you listen to to get you inspired?  Do you make it a routine? Something More by Sugarland Firework by Katy Perry Monday, hard to wake up Fill my coffee cup, I'm out the door Yeah, the freeway's standing still