Skip to main content

Receiving Feedback

We've all read lots of books and articles on giving feedback, but what is the best way to receive feedback?  My default response used to be to explain my position, show how I do what the person is asking, or show how I wanted to but someone else prevented me.  If I am caught off guard or stressed, these are still my gut instincts.  However, I have learned two much more constructive ways to respond to feedback that I strive to use more often.  The first started as I became more self-aware and felt comfortable and safe acknowledging and working on my weaknesses.  If someone points something I am aware of and I feel safe (i.e., it is pointed out in a private forum versus a public forum) the best thing I can do is say "I know, do you have any suggestions or advice that will help me?"  If someone has the courage to step out of their comfort zone to point out a way I can improve, it is a safe bet they've thought about it beforehand.  The second way to handle feedback, especially if you are not aware of the problem, is to ask if you can have time to think about it and come back with questions.  Use the time to examine your actions objectively and then ask for advice on how to fix it.  Underlying this process is a need for self-awareness.  Without it, constructive feedback can not truly be constructive.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What an Extraverted Intuitive Needs to be Productive

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is based on the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung. Jung observed that people have inborn preferences for gathering information and making decisions and that these preferences guide an individual’s behavior. The mother/daughter team of Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers expanded on Jung’s theories and created an assessment to make the combined work accessible to all individuals. Today, the assessment is used by most Fortune 100 companies and over two million people worldwide, annually. The assessment identifies an individual’s inborn preferences on four dichotomous scales: where you focus your energy, how you prefer to take in information, how you make decisions, and how you deal with the outer world. Type is best used to understand other people, improve communication, and develop individual skills. The first dichotomy is Extraversion (gets energy from other people) and Introversion (gets energy from reflection).  The second...

What is True Self Awareness and Why is Important for Personal/Professional Development?

You know my opinion that when it comes to professional development , you get out of a program what you put into it.  So now you get my opinion on the single most important element of personal/professional development. 
SELF AWARENESS 
 What is it?  Self awareness is knowing your strengths and how to maximize them, knowing your weaknesses and how to buffer them, knowing that you have blind spots and being open to feedback about them, and being willing to do the necessary reflection and work to constantly improve yourself. I have observed so many people in leadership development programs (1 hour to 18 month) listen to an amazing instructor describe an action, reaction, or career derailer and immediately speak up and identify someone else who has that quality.  You would not believe how often, that person has the same quality.  However, they often even follow up with because of my experience working with that person I make a point to not do this.  Awkward....

What Do Elmo, Colbie Caillat, and Daniel Goleman Have in Common?

"When your monster wants to throw things and your monster wants to shout, there's a way to calm your monster, and chill your inner monster out."  We laugh when we play this for our young child and the cute little Elmo turns into a monster and we dance with our little one when Colbie Caillat melodically sings "Belly Breathe."   http://youtu.be/_mZbzDOpylA   Toddlers are notorious for meltdowns.  All the research says it is because they don't have the words to express their feelings and guide the parents to stay calm. But what about when you are at work and YOUR monster wants to throw things?  The Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), a popular emotional intelligence assessment, includes Emotional Management and Regulation as one of composite scales with Stress Tolerance and Impulse Control as subscales.  In other words, how well can you chill your inner monster out? In his book  Emotional Intelligence , Daniel Goleman, posits that 20 percent of an in...