Skip to main content

No Cookie Cutters Needed

Here is my response to a great blog post on the Washington Post.com.  Once I figure out how, I will post the comment on that site.  Until then, enjoy.

Some people know exactly what career they want from childhood.  Is it easier to help those people in life and to help them progress through a productive career?  Obviously.  Most of us are more like you Misti and need to explore our options.  That usually means a bit of mentor and career trial and error along the way. 

Many people try to ā€œhelpā€ mentees by leading them down the path that made them successful and indoctrinating the mentee into the mentorā€™s world.  They assume, this worked for me, it will work for you.  While this may be a great process for making cookies, it usually doesnā€™t work for developing people.  In reality, it usually results in an ended relationship (this isnā€™t working for me) or the protĆ©gĆ© will follow the mentorā€™s advice and pretend to be engaged in the process only to find they are not fulfilled by the process or engaged in the work.  As a contrast, the best mentors I have had, asked me questions that helped me find my own path.  This is much harder for both parties, but it is more productive in the end. 

When I was applying for college, I was picking from majors about which I had no real knowledge.  I had been in Junior Achievement for three years so I declared Business as my major.  I attended a liberal arts university (Truman State University) so I ā€œhadā€ to take all those other classes.  Those classes opened my eyes to more areas of interests and jobs in the world than I could have ever imagined.  Within a few years, I became a political science major who was going to change the world (and never ever go to law school).  I moved to Washington, DC after receiving my undergraduate degree and worked in a couple of non-profits that I believed really could change the world.  I loved the passion with which the people I worked approached the mission of the organizations.  However, I soon found out that to advance in DC, I needed another degree.  I looked seriously at the Masters in Public Administration, the Masters in Business Administration, and the Juris Doctorate.  I went to law school because I thought it seemed challenging.  (Note to all recent graduates out there, this is the worst reason in the world to go to law school.)  I was challenged, and I felt like I had accomplished something significant when I graduated.  I examined public and private job opportunities and chose to enter the world of public service (still trying to save the world).  With more than ten years of practice, I can honestly say, there is no better place to start a legal career if you value the ability to learn and the (sometimes constant) search for what is the ā€œrightā€ answer instead of ā€œhow can we winā€.  That being said, I am still learning completely new things and I (like many of my colleagues) have varied interests that often equate to a second, part-time career. 

I still struggle with people who believe that there is an expected career progression in my field and if I am not at a certain place on it, I am not ā€œgood enough.ā€  Inside, though, I realize that my diverse skills honed by a lifetime of learning are worth more to me than a manager title ever would be.  I now direct my career and judge it against my own standards (am I learning something new, am I helping other people, am I challenged) rather than trying to fit into the cookie cutter mold that people have deemed proper.  I value the mentors I have had along the way who asked those probing questions they never really expected to hear the answer to, they only wanted me to think about for myself.  In truth, those are the questions I go to when I have to make a decision.  Things like, how do you want this experience to change you?  I have learned (by flat out asking) that the mentors who reach out to mentees in this way, actually feel that they develop their own interpersonal skills as well.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What an Extraverted Intuitive Needs to be Productive

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is based on the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung. Jung observed that people have inborn preferences for gathering information and making decisions and that these preferences guide an individualā€™s behavior. The mother/daughter team of Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers expanded on Jungā€™s theories and created an assessment to make the combined work accessible to all individuals. Today, the assessment is used by most Fortune 100 companies and over two million people worldwide, annually. The assessment identifies an individualā€™s inborn preferences on four dichotomous scales: where you focus your energy, how you prefer to take in information, how you make decisions, and how you deal with the outer world. Type is best used to understand other people, improve communication, and develop individual skills. The first dichotomy is Extraversion (gets energy from other people) and Introversion (gets energy from reflection).  The second...

Your Personal Plan - Part 1

Every January 1 there is a rush to make New Year's Resolutions.  I don't know about you, but a list of resolutions never seems to stick for me.  In the training and development area we are constantly talking about Executive and Individual Development Plans.  I will be honest, I can really get into these with a client.  But, I don't have one in the form I recommend.  Is this part of do what I say, not what I do?  Maybe.  Maybe not. I've been thinking that one plan for what you want to accomplish at work and one for home and one for your volunteer work can be as aggravating (and ultimately useless) as trying to maintain a paper calendar at work, an outlook calendar, a hanging calendar on the fridge at home, and a google calendar for your extracurriculars. I think what we really need is a one-stop shopping personal plan that merges everything you do now and everything you want to achieve in the next five years (or whatever time period you are using). ...

What Do Elmo, Colbie Caillat, and Daniel Goleman Have in Common?

"When your monster wants to throw things and your monster wants to shout, there's a way to calm your monster, and chill your inner monster out."  We laugh when we play this for our young child and the cute little Elmo turns into a monster and we dance with our little one when Colbie Caillat melodically sings "Belly Breathe."   http://youtu.be/_mZbzDOpylA   Toddlers are notorious for meltdowns.  All the research says it is because they don't have the words to express their feelings and guide the parents to stay calm. But what about when you are at work and YOUR monster wants to throw things?  The Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), a popular emotional intelligence assessment, includes Emotional Management and Regulation as one of composite scales with Stress Tolerance and Impulse Control as subscales.  In other words, how well can you chill your inner monster out? In his book  Emotional Intelligence , Daniel Goleman, posits that 20 percent of an in...