Strategic Serendipity

Last week my NCIS Season 10 DVDs came in the mail.  Each episode is a treat in and of itself after I got rid of cable last year and became a Netflix-only household.  (As a single mother with a toddler, I was averaging about 30 minutes of quality TV time to myself a day so it seemed a real waste of money.)  Overall I have been pleased, but there are a few shows, like NCIS and Big Bang Theory, that I honestly miss.   Anyway, one of the episodes really struck me the more I thought about it.  The title was Hit and Run and in it, Abby's character flashes back to a childhood "investigation" while working a current hit and run investigation and comes to the conclusion that all her work is for nothing as she doesn't change anything and bad things still happen.  Of course, Gibbs' character shows her what a difference she truly makes by just being herself and the episode closes with her smiling.  His speech is about her "hit and runs" where she does something n

How many times a day do you say "thank you?"  How many times a day do you hear "thank you?"  As I started teaching my toddler son to say "please" and "thank you" I realized that I began saying it more even when he was not around.  Then it occurred to me that I hadn't been saying it enough.  So I started saying it even more around others. And then I had an experience where a simple thank you changed a person's attitude (for the good).  And I realized the power of a simple thank you in a work environment (as a federal employee) where morale seems to be at an all-time low (at least in the fifteen years I've been around) and people seem quick to snap at one another and "say" things (either in person or via e-mail) that you never would have heard in the workplace twenty years ago.  (And no, this is not a generational issue as it is all generations I am hearing it from.) After last Friday, just another day of serving as everyo

You have read about this week's eye gash and trip to the doctor so you can picture a bit of the little (adorable) Tasmanian Devil I live with. But his reaction to this week has reminded me of a very important principle we all forget on a daily basis.  People are different and they react to things differently.  I'm not talking about the differences between raising "snips and snails" boys and "sugar and spice" girls.  This is far more basic and relates to the lens of our preferences and life experiences through which we view everything that happens to us and those around us.  Take, for example, a head bump so bad that the gash needed liquid stitches. If this had happened to me I would have, pardon my frankness, milked it for all it was worth. Not in a lazy way or a "poor me" way, but in a "I really need to just take it easy" way. How does my little boy react?  I have no idea. There hasn't been a single slow down, whimper, or change in b

Today started out as any other, I had two days at work this week and that was plenty of time to get my "must do before I leave" list cleared. I was sitting at my desk tackling the thing I like the least first when my phone rang. That call that no parent, single or otherwise, wants to get. My son had gotten a cut above his eye and they wanted me to take him to the doctor. A little discombobulated I managed to call his doctor's office and make an appointment while emailing my boss and setting my out of office reply. That done I caught a cab and had my little boy in my arms in record time. He was having a snack and threw the ice pack away by himself so he was obviously handling it very well. I agreed that a trip to the doctor's and not the ER. was in order and so we headed on the train and bus 75 minute trip.  The joys of living in a city without a car. The worst part was cleaning and putting Derma Bond on the cut at the doctor'a but luckily he didn't need stitch

There is a great song called "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins about how children watch and mimic us at our best and at our worst. It was a sweet and funny song until the first time my sweet little toddler said "s$@t" when he couldn't get his duplos to snap together. I had to suppress a small bit of pride that he had used it in the right context and make a split decision about what to do. Since he was 16 months at the time I ignored it and immediately took the word out of my vocabulary. (Since I get excited about every new word, this worked...this time.). What I learned is that he is taking in every single thing I do and say. I started practicing saying please and thank you and encouraging his use of them and he is often the first to say it now when someone holds the door for me while pushing the stroller.  It made me think about developing others. You can tell people to do things until you are blue in the face but if you are not modeling the practice you

How committed to that leadership development program you signed up for (or were nominated for) are you? Better yet, what does committed mean to you? I will try to attend the whole class except for that phone call I need to take and checking e-mails during the program. I will put my out of office on for the time of the program and attend the whole session.   I will do all the pre-work assigned. I will make notes and incorporate something from the program afterwards. I will work for at least six months to integrate the concepts, reflect on application "experiments," and revise my process. In a world where training professionals are constantly being able to state the return on investment for leadership training, the dirty little secret is that there is often very little return because the participants are not committed to the program.  Honestly, if you are not spending 7-10 hours working with the new concepts outside of the classroom for every hour you are inside th

Picture this, a beautiful August morning, a sweet toddler cuddles with his single mother, he plays and eats while she gets ready, they negotiate getting dressed, walk out the door...and boom, instant meltdown. Do you want to walk? No! Do you want to ride in the stroller?  No!  Do you want to ride the bus?  Bus!  And cue meltdown because he can't run around on the bus. Exit the bus with a squirming screaming child in one hand and a folded stroller in the other. Child reaches for sippy cup, sits in stroller and quiets down. Whew!  Walk in, put away the stroller and...outside!  No we have to go to class, want to see the guinea pigs first? No!  Cue collapse on the floor for dramatic effect. Thank goodness we are in a daycare where parents and adults look at you with empathy instead of disdain. Pick him up, take him to class, set him down with his cup and snack and cue dramatic collapse. Slowly share snacks with all the kids in the room because they all know I will. Once all the kids ar

I feel like I spent the first twenty years of my life listening to my mom telling me to clean up my room and a good portion of the next twenty listening to roommates, officemates, etc. talk about the condition of my home and office.  Since I had my son, I have one room he is allowed to do anything he wants to. At 21 months he is finally figuring out our "put things away" game and I don't have to spend his naps and after he goes to bed cleaning up.  But over the last few months, I've increasingly yearned for a clean desk at work and a clean office, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom at home.  Maybe it is the uncertainty, craziness, and change in my life combined with the increasing number of ideas and goals running through my head, but I just want a place for everything and everything in its place. It doesn't exactly stress me out that it isn't there yet, and I move forward a little every week so I am not overwhelmed with the project.  But it has got me thinking.

Is there anything better for a mental recharge than physical activity?  I hit the jackpot today.  The Friendship Firehouse in Alexandria, Virginia was having an open house.  That means a whole street blocked off and lined with big, red fire trucks and pint-size firefighters.  I don't have a car and it is five miles away so I took a cab there and started the morning with my little pint-size guy.  We explored the reflective surfaces of the hubcaps, the hidey-holes that store supplies, the thick fire hoses that put out fires, and someone even checked out the underside of an ambulance!  After an exciting morning with friends from his class, we were ready to head home.  And that is where my fun began.  A five-mile meandering walk with a quick stop for lunch about half-way while the little guy was napping.  It was a beautiful day.  And as I walked the stress from the week started to melt away.  Not all of it yet, I am guessing that will be a walk tomorrow.  But quite a lot.  We both got

In a world where every business number you dial gets you and endless string of prompts and the people who are the public face of a company so often fail to pride themselves in service there are still a few places that "get" customer service.  One I have recently found is Arlington Red Top Cab in Virginia. First of all, a living human being answers the phone when you call. If you want to be picked up they key in your phone number and ask if you want to be picked up at your home address. Not a problem if you don't, but a nice bonus not needing to repeat your address every time you call. Then, they send you a text when a cab has been assigned, is a mile away, and is  at your location. Each text has the number of the cab so if more than one person is waiting you know easily which one is yours.  This may sound like a relatively simple process, but the fact of the matter is that it is often the simplest things that get overlooked. What makes them great, is they are there when y

I am not quite sure how it is already August. July seems to have come and gone in the blink of an eye. I will admit that Fall is my favorite season, but this year I am hoping that August will slow down just a little to allow me to catch my breath.  I have a weekend of cleaning, planning, and playing with my son planned to get things back on track. I used a much needed day off yesterday to revisit my main priorities (my "big rocks") and I am trying to keep them front and center as I do my weekly and daily planning.  How often do you check your priorities? If you haven't revisited them since you took that leadership class now would be a great time. Think about the next six months, what do you want to accomplish in the different facets of your life (work, volunteer, school, family, health, hobby, etc.)?  Put the list near your computer or day planner and schedule your life around what will move the big things forward and what will fulfill you most. The rest can go in your sp